Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
