honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
