remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
