So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
