it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dick very happy bro
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
