he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
