All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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