I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
