Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
