How'd it feel making her break her religion?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
you never un-have a 4some
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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