honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
