His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
