I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize