She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
