oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
