the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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