if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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