Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
