I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she smelled like a LAN party
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
