Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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