That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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