I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
