Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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