Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
