This girl is more easily done than said...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This is classic penis vs brain.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
