I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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