areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
