doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
