Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
