I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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