then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
