i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
