i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize