What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
