Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I don't deserve a penis
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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