I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
operation harelip BJ is a go
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
