ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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