U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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