I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
