I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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