I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
