Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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