Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
