Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize