So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
