Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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