Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
