White coat. Heels.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
