at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
