Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize