It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
