If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
