sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
