I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize