what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
