I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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