I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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