I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I met the friendliest cop last night
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
