She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
