my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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