this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
