This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
