it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize