its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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