Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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